Popsicle
Serves 1
Ingredient:
Popsicle*
Needed:
Trash receptacle
Paper towel
A Nearby Sink
Steps to Prep:
If you have kids, you likely have these in the freezer, so start by looking there. If you don’t have kids and there are no popsicles in your freezer, we’d recommend referring to our recipe for ice cream, because we know you have that. Now, remove a single popsicle from the freezer. Open the wrapper and pull it down by the stick to keep the melting popsicle from dripping on your hands. It’s guaranteed to melt and leak through to your hand anyway, which is why we’ve advised you to have a paper towel handy. Note, we did not advise a napkin, because those suckers will just stick to your sticky hands and leave you with popsicle and paper left behind. Anyhow, once you’ve opened the popsicle you can begin eating by sucking/licking it. We do not advise biting, only a crazy person with no regard for sensitive teeth bites a popsicle right out the gate. When the popsicle is completely gone, dispose of the wrapper and paper towel in the garbage, save the stick and learn how to use it in our “pro-tip!” Wash your sticky hands and face in the nearby sink.
*Today I learned that Popsicle is a brand name, and “ice pop” would be the generic name. But like, who says “ice pop?”
Pro-Tip:
You can wash the stick and save it to begin building a fence around your Play-Doh (another brand name) village. Don’t yet have your very own handmade village? Literally what are you waiting for, you’re trapped inside alone, now is the time to build your friends.
Warning:
Do not eat this in bed. Unless you are at the hospital and have had your tonsils removed…but there are not currently any elective procedures happening so, not likely.