Candy Bar

Serves 1

Ingredient:

• Candy Bar

Needed:

1. Napkin

Steps to Prep:

Select a candy bar from your pantry. Don’t lie to me, Karen, I know you still have leftovers from Halloween, or Easter, or whatever excuse adults use to buy themselves candy. Tear the wrapper and peel halfway down the bar to keep your fingers clean. Bite into the candy bar, chew, and swallow your feelings along with the sugar. We promise we won’t be trapped inside forever, but eat your heart out while you are. When you reach the halfway point, shove the rest of the bar into your mouth. It ain’t pretty, but no one is watching. Have the napkin handy in case you salivate chocolate juice.

Pro-Tip:

If you buy the “fun-sized” candy bars you can enjoy multiple kinds of chocolate in one feeling-numbing sitting.

Warning:

Although life may indeed be like a box of chocolates, candy may not actually solve your problems, please seek counseling from a medical professional.