Jerky
Serves 1*
Ingredient:
Jerky
Needed:
Truck
Flannel Shirt
Trash Bag
Steps to Prep:
Pick your stick from a variety of questionable meats.* Open the package and chew away, holding the jerky in either your right hand, or your left hand. Leave the other hand on the steering wheel of your truck. Wipe your greasy hands on your flannel shirt. Save any extra jerky on the dashboard of your truck for later. Be sure the dash is dust-free so the jerky will not pick up extra grit. Do not dust with your dirty, smelly socks, use the dinner napkin you keep in the glove box. When the jerky is done, throw the wrapper in your truck trash bag.
*As a truck-driving (also a Bolt-driving, very diverse over here), flannel-wearing, jerky-loving, all American girl, I need to clarify no disrespect meant to jerky. I simply type what Grandma thinks is funny.
Pro-Tip:
Not really a tip, but if you’re eating gator jerky that your brother made you, you get bonus points. Yes, we’ve been keeping score this whole time!
Warning:
Eating jerky may give you a sense of invincibility, but you are still subject to law and order and you will get pulled over if you let that lead foot down.