Apple
Serves 1
Ingredient:
Apple
Needed:
Trash receptacle/garbage disposal/compost bin
Empty Jar*
Steps to Prep:
Choose an apple from your refrigerator or fruit bowl. There are many varieties of apples, we could list them all here, but we won’t. Just choose one. Wash the fruit. Do not use bleach. You should not ingest bleach. We repeat, do not ingest bleach. Hold the apple in one hand and take medium bites, circling around the fruit until you come to the inside core. Yes, we are aware the “core” doesn’t actually exist and is merely a construct of our minds, but throw it in the garbage disposal/trash/compost anyways.
*We heard there is arsenic in apple seeds, so if you save enough of them in this jar, perhaps they might come in handy for eliminating your quarantine nemesis. KIDDING! Please don’t attempt to poison anyone, it isn’t nice.
Pro-Tip:
They say eating one of these every day will keep the doctor away...and perhaps the ‘rona at bay?
Warning:
If you do not remove the apple debris within minutes from your home, you may end up with a seemingly immediate and unbearable supply of fruit-flies. There is no known effective method of actually ridding your home of these tiny little bastards.